Real Love and Relationships

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“What do they talk about with you?” Nathan asked.
“All kinds of problems, but usually they are all centered on the same subject. Many people imagined their romantic relationships differently. They often believed they had found real love with their partners, but with time, they became totally disillusioned.” Catalina answered.
“When do we know if it’s real love?” Nathan asked curiously.
“It’s simple; love is not real if it changes when the circumstances change!” She stated.
“In a relationship, doesn’t love and suffering sometimes go hand in hand?” Nathan asked.
“Suffering comes about when a relationship is based on need, when subconsciously, one partner wants to possess or dominate the other. What sustained that relationship in the beginning was the need for love that brought about that relationship in the first place, and then it became a habit, and often, it ends in solitude.” She explained.
“Why do some relationships seem so promising in the beginning?”
“In the beginning, feelings of love are subconsciously projected on the person we meet.” Catalina stated.
“In that case, does it mean that those feelings of love were not sincere?” Nathan asked.
“Love is always present within each of us. We don’t need someone else to experience it.”
“Are you saying that we don’t need anyone else to feel love?” Nathan asked.

“No, we don’t need to search for it, and definitely, we should not want to dominate another. Many people erroneously imagine that they can find the love they want in someone else, but no one can give us what we already have.” Catalina stated.

“What does a loving relationship mean to you, Catalina?”
Catalina took her time to properly formulate her answer. Finally, she said: “Loving is taking the time to truly be interested in one another, to be with one another, but especially to find peace with one another.”
“Then I believe I have a loving relationship with Sophie.” Nathan said.
Catalina smiled.
“We have a loving relationship with everyone, Nathan. What renders your relationship with Sophie particular is the intimacy you share together.” She stated.
“What is the most important thing about a relationship?” Nathan asked.
“To always dare to recognize the truth of the moment.” Catalina replied.
“The truth of the moment?” Nathan asked curiously.
“It’s what we learn by giving the other the possibility of expressing himself or herself, whether it’s disapproval, admiration, anger or joy.”
 

How much richer relationships are when the two parties feel complete within themselves, when they realize that Love has always been within, and then they embark on a relationship as a “sharing” of such Love rather then searching for it in the other… If you have the impression that Love is on the outside and you need to find it in another person to feel “complete”, then you’ll always be disillusioned.

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