"As separate individuals, we live in separate cultures haunted by the vague memory of an intimacy that we all share. Let us, all together, chase the very horizon of existence, the edge of understanding, the point at which new sensations, emotions, thoughts and ideas begin to emerge… and let us bring this intimacy alive." ~Alex Mero
It’s with great admiration that I read your book based principally on dialogues. According to you, what is the secret for a good dialogue?
A good dialogue is defined by a sense of good will on the part of the interlocutors; the will to value truth above all. The real desire to learn is manifested by the choice of the interlocutor to “disappear”. When this desire of humility is present in both parties, there is no longer a speaker, or a listener, only observation without opinions or conclusions; just two minds together trying to bring into light what is just and true.
“What do they talk about with you?” Nathan asked.
“All kinds of problems, but usually they are all centered on the same subject. Many people imagined their romantic relationships differently. They often believed they had found real love with their partners, but with time, they became totally disillusioned.” Catalina answered.
“When do we know if it’s real love?” Nathan asked curiously.
“It’s simple; love is not real if it changes when the circumstances change!” She stated.
“In a relationship, doesn’t love and suffering sometimes go hand in hand?” Nathan asked.
“Suffering comes about when a relationship is based on need, when subconsciously, one partner wants to possess or dominate the other. What sustained that relationship in the beginning was the need for love that brought about that relationship in the first place, and then it became a habit, and often, it ends in solitude.” She explained.
“Why do some relationships seem so promising in the beginning?”
“In the beginning, feelings of love are subconsciously projected on the person we meet.” Catalina stated.
“In that case, does it mean that those feelings of love were not sincere?” Nathan asked.
“Love is always present within each of us. We don’t need someone else to experience it.”
“Are you saying that we don’t need anyone else to feel love?” Nathan asked.
“No, we don’t need to search for it, and definitely, we should not want to dominate another. Many people erroneously imagine that they can find the love they want in someone else, but no one can give us what we already have.” Catalina stated.
“What does a loving relationship mean to you, Catalina?”
Catalina took her time to properly formulate her answer. Finally, she said: “Loving is taking the time to truly be interested in one another, to be with one another, but especially to find peace with one another.”
“Then I believe I have a loving relationship with Sophie.” Nathan said.
“We have a loving relationship with everyone, Nathan. What renders your relationship with Sophie particular is the intimacy you share together.” She stated.
“What is the most important thing about a relationship?” Nathan asked.
“To always dare to recognize the truth of the moment.” Catalina replied.
“The truth of the moment?” Nathan asked curiously.
“It’s what we learn by giving the other the possibility of expressing himself or herself, whether it’s disapproval, admiration, anger or joy.”
How much richer relationships are when the two parties feel complete within themselves, when they realize that Love has always been within, and then they embark on a relationship as a “sharing” of such Love rather then searching for it in the other… If you have the impression that Love is on the outside and you need to find it in another person to feel “complete”, then you’ll always be disillusioned.
“We’ve met so many doctors from abroad that have come to work here,” Nathan said, “And each time I ask myself what made them leave their comfortable lives to come work in the most appalling conditions.”
“Very often, they want to test their knowledge and put it to better use. In return, they develop their ability for empathy.” Songo answered.
“Aren’t modern doctors capable of compassion?” Nathan asked.
“A great number of those who study medicine know perfectly well what they think but not what they feel!” Songo stated.
“What are they missing?”
“They are missing the realization that healing someone helps expand their consciousness.” Songo replied.
“But how?” Nathan asked.
Songo was quiet for a moment, to give strength and conviction to his next words: “Healing others helps them get closer to their essence. We can even say that in certain cases, it can help someone remember who he is…”
“By that, do you mean that we help them find their true destiny?”
Songo looked at Nathan with admiration and was silent again. He was impressed with Nathan’s ability to make the right connections.
“You couldn’t have said it better.” Songo said.
Modern medicine focuses on the body, specifically on the area of the body that is ill, and often misses the whole picture. Everything is connected, and everything is energy. A disequilibrium in one area will affect the other. A disquieted mind will prevent a physical healing. Healing the body, but not healing within, is only temporary “healing”. True healing takes place within and then without. In fact, in many cases of illness, the focus should be on the inside first. Furthermore, when you’re healthy within, chances are you take better care of the outside, the body. What makes these doctors who volunteer to work in debilitated places gain empathy, and therefore, maybe become better “equipped” to heal? Maybe because they become less dependent on traditional medicine due to lack of resources and material, and “listen” more to the patients, to the root cause of their illness? Just a thought…
“Why is there so much incomprehension between people of different origins?” Nathan asked Songo.
“Because in general, we pay more attention to the differences and not the similarities,” Songo answered.
These words reminded Nathan that Adnan had said something along the same lines.
“Then how come you’re understood by everyone everywhere you go?” Nathan asked.
“To achieve that, you have to arm yourself with patience and learn how to inspire confidence.” Songo said.
Nathan imitated Songo’s way of talking.
“But how do you make yourself accepted by people who live differently and how can you inspire confidence in them?” Nathan asked.
“You see, Nathan, our conscious mind is but a small part of our psychic activities. It’s the subconscious which constitutes the greatest part. When you address someone, it is better to reach his subconscious.” Songo explained.
“How do you address their subconscious?”
“First you have to pass through the nets woven by mistrust. That’s what you just did by imitating my very particular way of speaking.” Songo said smiling.
That’s exactly what Nathan had done. He had familiarized himself with Songo’s distinguished style of speech and his use of unique metaphors. He knew that this was partly how Songo got attention for his messages by those he dealt with. He knew that it was necessary to listen attentively, ask the right questions, and use imagination.
“What’s the role of these nets of distrust?” Nathan asked next.
“They prevent information from reaching the subconscious.” Songo explained.
“Do you always succeed in getting through them?”
“I start by studying the body language of those I’m dealing with. I observe as many details as possible, and then I imitate them when I’m in their presence.” Songo explained.
“You imitate them?” Nathan asked intrigued.
“Sometimes what people see has more of an impact than what they hear.” Songo stated.
These words confirmed to Nathan the power of the visual.
“People get the impression that I am one of theirs, “ Songo continued, “And many think that if you behave like they do, than you must have been brought up the same way and therefore share the same worries.”
These lessons were precious to Nathan. He understood better about the visual influence of images in communication.
We all look differently, live differently, and it’s these differences we notice, and hence why there is so much misunderstanding and discord between people, between cultures. To really communicate with one another, it’s necessary to look beyond the differences and see the similarities, and once we focus on the similarities, we’re able to “get through” to one another. Because in essence, we are all the same, and acting and speaking from the heart will reach the inner core of that other person, and they will understand you. The real connection and understanding is from within oneself to another…
“I see a flowing current, able to absorb resistances, transforming them, and changing their direction.”
“What kind of resistances do you mean?” Nathan asked curiously.
“Those resistances that limit impelling energy!” he stated.
Nathan understood that this man had the ability to see the world with different eyes. In developing his abilities and in communicating what he discovered, this Indian man had found the profound meaning of his life. Nathan was very curious to know more.
“I’m sorry, but could you explain what you mean by ‘resistances’ and ‘limiting impelling energy’?”
“You don’t have to be sorry because it’s due to your curiosity that together we can give meaning to these moments!” The Indian man stated.
Again the man took his time to clarify his affirmations. It was clear that the view he had on life was imprinted with much wisdom, and just like Songo, he used a distinctive language to be better understood. By experience, Nathan knew that from this encounter he would obtain some useful and valuable information that would help with his personal development.
“I’m referring to the physical and emotional limitations that touch each one of us when we are born onto this earth.” He stated.
Nathan understood that the Indian man was talking about faults and bad habits, but he wanted to know more about the impelling energy.
“Can I ask what you mean by impelling energy?” Nathan asked.
“Impelling energy is the mother of all energies; the one that directs everything.” He stated.
“Do the limitations you mentioned prevent us from letting this energy flow?” Nathan asked.
The Indian nodded affirmatively.
Impelling energy is none other than the Creative Source, that which indeed is behind, connects and directs everything. It is our ultimate source of inspiration. Our limitations, mostly self-imposed, and some socially imposed, are what prevent us from accessing this source. Learned behaviours, certain emotions and a focus on the external rather than the internal are some of these limitations.
Whether it’s with your literary work or the articles in your blog, your words are powerful. You do this humbly and modestly, which is part of your charm, but how do you explain the impact your words have on the readers?
The only thing I can say is that when I’m writing, there is a profound desire to put into words something which is much bigger then I. What I feel is without doubt, something inexpressible. Through my writings, the reader recognizes messages which touch and are particularly relevant to them. Thus, each reader creates their own new interpretation of these messages, each different from the other. These new interpretations influence the reader’s thoughts and emotions and help liberate them from their usual imposed thought processes. Through words inspired by the timeless source, things can become apparent to the reader that had not been beforehand.
Will we ever know reality to the level the Creator does?
We will probably never know it, but we can experience it. Reality is something too mystifying to be understood in the form of intellectual knowledge. When we try to understand it, we perceive it through our limited intellect, which offers us a very limited view of this reality. Our intellect can only give us a static illusion of something that is constantly in motion and perpetually changing. If we want to better experience reality, we need to free ourselves from our limited intellect, and attain a level of consciousness where our intellect has less of a hold on us. This is a level of consciousness that is closer to the Absolute and better linked to the one and only real Wisdom.